Jedi, Heal Thyself
Summary: Obi-Wan is dying and Anakin begins a vigil with the
powerful and compassionate Jedi healer
who is his physician. Takes place a year or so before EP2
As the small Republic transport settled onto the Jedi Temple's
landing platform, an eighteen year
old Anakin Skywalker peered out of the ship's portal window and
chewed his lower lip savagely. He
saw a contingent of concerned Jedi Masters among the waiting
triage of medical personnel. Anakin had
contacted the council earlier to prepare them for the worse and
explain what had happened.
Their mission to Rubia had failed and now another team would have
to be sent in to renegotiate
between the two warring factions. Neither side had wanted to
accept the Republic's terms to settle the
conflict. Just before leaving the planet surface to return to
Coruscant for a consultation with the Rubian
representatives in the Senate, the Jedi's transport had come
under attack and both Jedi had been
caught outside in the crossfire. Anakin had managed to escape
relatively uninjured, but Obi-Wan had
not been as fortunate.
Anakin heard the faint creaking of the boarding ramp being lowered.
The beings on the platform
sprang into action and swarmed into the ship. Taking a deep steadying
breath, Anakin turned back to
face his master. He squeezed Obi-Wan's hand tightly between both
"Master, we're home," he whispered in the older Jedi's ear and
tried to convey encouragement
through the Force. There was no response. Anakin glanced up at
the medic droid who stood off to his
left, studying the monitors. "How's he doing?"
"Respiration rate is lowering," it reported in a matter of fact
mechanical tone. "Blood pressure is
dropping. Heart rate is slowing. Do you want specific readings?"
Anakin shook his head slowly. He could feel his eyes begin to
water and his throat constrict
painfully. He turned back to face Obi-Wan.
"Hang on," he managed hoarsely. "Please Master."
The door to the sick bay suddenly opened and the triage team spilled
inside, towing various
equipment and supplies. They quickly surrounded the injured Jedi
Knight, more or less pushing Anakin
out of the way.
Reluctantly, Anakin released his master's hand and backed up,
flattening himself as best he could,
against the wall. He watched the chaotic scene in something of
a trance. It almost seemed as if
everyone was moving in slow motion through a haze.
This is a nightmare, Anakin decided. This was something he was
dreaming. It wasn't really
happening. Obi-Wan wasn't really dying.
The triage corpmen shifted the Jedi onto their suspension cot
as the medics continued to attach
life sensitive monitors. Others plunged injections of medications
and stimulants into both his arms. They
all seemed to be talking at the same time, relaying information
and orders to each other. Anakin didn't
understand most of it.
Suddenly a woman in a long red cloak and tunic walked calmly into
the sick bay and over to the
triage. Without so much as a word, she went over to where Obi-Wan
lay. To Anakin's surprise, no one
tried to stop her or question her as to what she was doing. He
watched curiously as she bent over the
cot and reached out, and stroked the side of the Jedi's face
while staring at him through narrowed dark
Anakin straightened slightly feeling the Force moving, flowing
from the woman. Anakin wondered
about her and her ability to use the Force. She seemed to be
a person of authority, at least in the eyes
of the triage as they all backed away from her to give her plenty
Abruptly the red clad stranger motioned to one of the medics and
then all the noise and chaos
was back as the team resumed their pressing duties. The woman's
face was statementless as she made
her way calmly around the frenetic medical personnel and glided
soundlessly back out of the room.
Finally, they threw a blanket over the injured Jedi, sealed the
suspension cot's domed
transparisteel top, and just as fast as they had arrived, they
Anakin stood frozen in the now silent and vacant sick bay. He
gathered his cloak around him,
shivering slightly, and then staggered unsteadily after them.
Several of the Jedi Masters stood off to the side of the platform
watching the ambulance get
ready to lift off. By the time Anakin had made his way out of
the transport and over to where they
stood, the ambulance was airborne. He stood staring after it
longingly. Finally he turned and faced the
group of Jedi, waiting, just behind him.
"Where are they taking him?" he asked. No one answered him. He
turned around facing the night
sky of Coruscant and tried to at least see what direction the
ambulance had gone.
"Come with us back to the temple, Anakin," said Master Ki Adi
Mundi, his voice low and
sympathetic. "You must be exhausted. You need rest." It had little
affect on the anxious apprentice.
"I need to be with him!" Anakin shot back.
"There's nothing you can do for him now," this coming from Master
Depa Billaba. She stepped
over to him and put her hand on his arm. "Come now, you need
to see a physician yourself," she noted,
taking in the young Jedi's disheveled, dirty appearance, and
the large purple bruise around his swollen
Anakin jerked himself free of her grasp. "No! Leave me alone.
I'm fine," he answered, his deep
clear voice resonating a challenge to the contrary.
The Jedi Masters exchanged wary looks with each other.
Master Mace Windu stepped forward. He faced Anakin squarely and
assessed the extent of the
young man's injuries using the Force. After a few moments passed,
"Very well, you don't have to see a medic if you don't want to,
but you will go to your quarters
Anakin struggled with his temper. "You don't understand--"
"You need to compose yourself. You need to meditate," Mace Windu
continued, cutting him off.
"You are far too upset right now to be of any use to anyone,
let alone Obi-Wan." He paused and took
a deep breath. "Your fear nearly consumes you."
Anakin could sense the masters' concern and compassion directed
at him. He lowered his head
and swallowed down his overpowering emotions. He sent a wave
of humility and gratitude through the
Force to them.
"I know I'm afraid," he admitted quietly, his statement conveying
remorse. "I may not see him
Depa Billaba gestured towards the waiting shuttle. "When we get
to the temple, go to your
quarters and get cleaned up. At least try to rest. As soon as
we hear news, we will send for you."
Anakin looked at each of the assembled masters in turn. He sighed
heavily, then nodded with
resignation, too weary to object further.
Seemingly satisfied, they left him and boarded the shuttle.
Anakin hesitated. He stared into the black sky and shivered slightly,
but not from the crisp night
air. He felt lost and very alone. Slowly, he closed his eyes
and stretched out with the Force to try to
touch his master's presence. He smiled as soon as he felt the
familiar and comforting perception of
Obi-Wan. He could just barely sense him, but it was definately
him. The feeling was reassuring and
helped ease Anakin's fears. Anakin held onto it for security,
as he had held onto his master's hand
Reluctantly, he turned finally and boarded the shuttle to take
him to the Jedi temple.
The small quarters he shared with Obi-Wan at the temple were dark
and empty-feeling. Anakin
quickly powered up the lights and the heat. He took off his torn,
muddy cloak and flung it
unceremoniously over the closest chair and went to the kitchen
to heat water for tea. He noticed a note
that Obi-Wan had scrawled to himself as a reminder left on the
table. He picked it up to read it,
struggling to decipher his master's atrocious handwriting. Apparently
someone had contacted him
before they had left for Rubia about filling in as cantor for
the morning meditation as soon as he
returned. Anakin wondered if anyone had been contacted to fill
in for him now.
Walking stiffly into his room, he took off his utility belt and
began unfastening his sash, when a
blinking message light on his recorder terminal caught his eye.
He crossed the room and quickly turned
A tiny hologram of Amidala hovered instantly before his eyes.
Before she even spoke, Anakin
knew she was distressed by something. She was wringing her hands
and fidgeting nervously.
"Anakin, please contact me when you get in. I have a strange feeling
that something is wrong. I
can't seem to shake it," the image of the young queen said quickly.
It smiled suddenly. "Perhaps I'm
being foolish and my fears are unfounded, but even so, just contact
me and reassure me, all right? I'll be
waiting." Then the image flickered out.
Anakin had to smile. Her Majesty had almost a Jedi's sense of
the Force, but she often dismissed
it as women's intuition. Whatever it was, her sensitivity was
Anakin took a deep breath and pressed the response button on the
One look at Anakin and Amidala knew all her feelings of unease
were not unfounded. "You're
hurt!" she exclaimed.
Anakin shook his head slowly. "It's nothing--just a black eye.
I got hit with the stock of a blaster
rifle. Ami, I ...I..." Anakin's nonchalant projection shattered
suddenly. He began shaking, bowing his
head, and succumbed to a brief bout of weeping, burying his face
in his large hands. Amidala looked
"Anakin! What's happened?"
He sniffed loudly and looked up at her. "Forgive me," he managed.
"The reality of what I was
about to relate to you just struck me...It's very difficult to
actually voice what my heart has been
wanting to deny. By saying it aloud, it is almost as if I am
compelled to accept it's wretched reality
Amidala's heart sank. "It's Obi-Wan, isn't it?" she murmured.
Anakin nodded. He inhaled deeply, his face twisting with the agony
of recollection as the details
of what happened on Rubia began spilling out. "We were pinned
by blaster fire. We couldn't reach the
transport ship. The only way we could defend ourselves was by
standing back to back and deflecting
away the blasts. It worked for awhile but we were getting shot
at from all sides. One of the Rubian
warlords rushed me and clubbed me with his blaster. I fell and
that left Obi-Wan unprotected. Before I
could get to my feet, he had been shot. It was through sheer
determination and some miracle of the
Force that I was able to get him to the ship without getting
"I hope you don't blame yourself for what happened to him," Amidala
said quickly. "You saved
Anakin swallowed hard. "I didn't...save him."
Amidala was almost afraid to press for more detail. It wrenched
her heart to hear of the danger
the Jedi consistently faced to maintain peace in an unstable
galactic republic. She knew she had come
very close to losing Anakin this time and was thankful that the
Force had been with him. He had
obviously been through something horrible. But he and Obi-Wan
were back on Coruscant now, safe.
She released a small sigh of relief. "But Obi-Wan will be all
right, won't he?"
Anakin hesitated, then shook his head slowly. "No Ami. He's probably
going to die."
Amidala gasped. For a second she couldn't breathe. "Anakin...I'm
The young Jedi dragged his hand through his spikey bangs in agitation.
"Oh Ami, I wish you were
here. I could really use a friend right now." He stared back
at her, his large blue eyes imploring. "I'm so
Amidala didn't hesitate. "I'll be there. I'm going to leave right
now," she announced.
Anakin straightened and took a deep breath. "...Hurry," he said
Amidala nodded determinedly. "In fact, you tell Obi-Wan, that
I'm on my way."
Anakin smiled slightly. "I will." He looked down briefly then
raised his eyes slowly. "I love you,"
he whispered and his image faded.
Amidala turned to the handmaiden closest to her. "Go to Captain
Panaka. Have him gather my
crew and prepare my ship. We're going to Coruscant."
After a quick scalding shower, Anakin shaved and changed into
clean clothes. He tried to sleep,
but sleep was elusive. Anakin was too restless to sleep. He tried
meditating, but images of Rubia kept
interrupting his concentration. He couldn't keep them at bay.
He kept seeing Obi-Wan turn, striking
down the warlord with one fatal stroke of his lightsaber, surely
saving Anakin from certain death, but
leaving himself vulnerable. Then he was falling back slowly,
gracefully, like a willowy reed bending in
the wind. Anakin caught him in his arms....and sensed his excruciating
Anakin quickly got up and shook the images and sensations out
of his mind and reached a quick
decision. He knew he would be unable to find any rest or peace
here. There still had been no contact
from the council; no news at all. He could not wait any longer.
He crossed the room, pulled on a fresh
cloak and hurried out the door.
Despite the late hour, the streets of Coruscant were full of pedestrians.
Anakin quickly made his
way through the tangled mass of varying species with a long,
determined stride. He didn't know where
he was going, but let the growing sense of his master's presence
act as a beacon. He was vaguely
aware of being addressed by beings he passed, but did not stop
to acknowledge them. His tall,
powerful, somewhat imposing frame seem to cut a straight path
through the crowds. They scurried to
get out of his way or more than likely be run down.
Anakin's head was pounding with pain, but he pushed on, ignoring
his dizziness and exhaustion.
He spied the hospital looming just ahead of him and breathed
a sigh of relief.
He slipped into the building and continued on to the elevators.
Obi-Wan was close. He could
sense him clearly now. Like the streets of Coruscant, the hospital
hallways were bustling with activity.
Anakin made his way to the sixteenth floor where the patient's
rooms were located. He walked
up to the center nurse's station.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, where is he?" Anakin demanded.
The duty nurse shook his head. "That room is currently off limits
and besides, visiting hours are
long over, Sir."
Anakin glared intimidatingly down at him, straightening himself
to his full height, and put his hands
on his hips. "Do I look like I care about your damned administrative
rules?" He brought the Force to
bear on the suddenly cowering duty nurse. "A room number, now."
"412 east wing," the nurse informed, eyeing him warily.
Anakin turned on his heel and started up the hall, growling a
thank you in reply.
As he got closer to the east wing, the halls became increasingly
less crowded and noisy. Anakin
thought it felt slightly ominous.
Room 412 was at the very end of the hall in a dimly lit annex.
Taking a deep breath, Anakin
slowly opened the door and peered inside.
The sight of his master gripped his heart with an intense physical
pain. The once strong, vibrant
Obi-Wan Kenobi was now lying face down, strapped onto a rotating
mechanism with tubing and wires
of all kinds snaking from his outstretched arms to different
whirring, humming, and beeping machines.
He wore an oxygenator, and brain and heart monitors. His pallor
was gray and his toned muscular
torso now looked pulpy and bruised.
The rotator turned the Jedi slowly, almost imperceptively around
again. Anakin walked over to
the side of the mechanism and knelt down. He swallowed the lump
in his throat and reached out
tentatively to touch his master's face.
"What are you doing here? You must have forgotten that you are
supposed to sing the litany
tomorrow at sunrise," he began softly. "I thought I'd better
Of course there was no reply or response. Anakin hadn't really
"He sings?" a low feminine voice asked, startling Anakin. He turned
around and saw the same
woman with the red cloak that he had seen back on the transport
ship. She was sitting on the room's
window ledge, her petite figure neatly tucked against the large
window with her legs folded underneath
her. She appeared to be about the same age as Obi-Wan. She stared
back at Anakin with large dark
eyes enhanced by a smooth, pale complextion and framed by a mass
of wavy black hair that draped
over her shoulders.
Anakin had been too absorbed in the presence of his master to
sense her before. Now the
presence of the Force was clearly evident in her. He peered at
"Who are you? Are you a Jedi Knight?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No. I'm a Jedi Healer. I'm his physician."
She gestured at Obi-Wan. "He
sings, you said?" she repeated.
Anakin nodded slowly. "He can sing. Quite well actually, but he
doesn't sing very often."
"Interesting,"she said simply. She slid off the ledge and walked
over to Anakin, but kept her eyes
on Obi-Wan. "Anything you can tell me about him, even the smallest
trivial detail will make it easier for
me to connect with him. If I can reach him, I can help him heal,"
she told Anakin. She faced him and
extended her hand in greeting. "I'm Master Selia Beellegee."
Anakin took her hand. "I'm Anakin Skywalker. I'm Obi-Wan's apprentice."
She nodded. "I can sense the bond you have with him. You're very
close to him aren't you?"
Anakin sighed and gazed sadly at his master. "Not as close as
I would like but he still means a lot
to me. I owe him so much. He's a good friend." He paused and
reached out to push a loose strand of
hair back from Obi-Wan's face. "I call him my 'little brother,'
" he relayed with a hint of a smile. "He
dislikes it, so I don't do it very often, just when I know he's
in a very receptive mood and he knows I'm
not doing out of disrespect. We tease each other like that. In
lighter moments..." Anakin licked his lips
apprehensively. "I...can't imagine losing him now. We've been
through so much together." His deep
voice faltered slightly and he closed his eyes against a new
wave of emotion he was feeling. "Please, tell
me, I must know," he continued quietly. He tried to steel himself
for the physician's possible reply. "Will
Selia sighed softly. "I'm not entirely sure at this point. He
does have a lot in his favor however.
He's young, strong, healthy. He's acutely attuned to the Force.
His power is evident in the fact that he
remains alive despite these injuries. If he were an ordinary
man, if he were not a Jedi, he would be
dead, no doubt." She paused and locked her eyes on her patient,
kneeling down beside Anakin. "He's
fighting death valiantly; using everything he has. It's one of
the reasons I have not been able to reach him
yet." She offered Anakin a small smile. "In a sense, he's too
busy to talk to me."
Anakin shook his head. "I guess I don't understand exactly."
Selia took a deep breath. "It's like falling off a cliff face,
but catching yourself on a rocky crag.
You're still strong enough to hold on, but only for awhile before
your arms start to ache and you begin
to tire. Then someone happens along and realizes you are fighting
for your life. They reach down to
offer to pull you back up. But first, you have to let go with
one hand and take the hand that is being
offered to you. Combining your strengths increases the chance
you have of surviving. I'm here to pull
him back up, but he must first give me his hand. So far, he hasn't."
She paused and furrowed her brow.
"If I can get to know him a little better, develop a true caring
for the person he is, and not just as my
patient, he might be a little more willing to trust me with his
Anakin nodded. "Interesting analogy," he rumbled thoughtfully.
"Obi-Wan has an uncanny knack
for falling into any precipice and adeptly latching onto some
'craggy rock.' He seems to have done it
again." Anakin lowered his eyes and stood up slowly. His head
was pounding and the vertigo he had
experienced earlier suddenly washed over him sending him staggering
back a step. He grabbed his
head with his hands.
Selia jumped to her feet and grabbed his arms to keep him from
falling over. Carefully she guided
him to a chair. Anakin sank slowly into it and looked up at her
"Seems you are in need of a healer, yourself," she said. "I can
sense the injury causing your pain.
Let me help you, Anakin."
Anakin nodded hesitantly, not exactly sure as to what he was consenting
to. "Very well. What do
you need me to do?"
The healer smiled reassuringly and took his hands in hers. "Nothing
really. Just relax and open
your mind to me. Through it I can center the Force's healing
energy wherever you need it. Combining
my power with your own, you will heal faster, more thoroughly,
and expend less of your own energy
doing so." She closed her eyes and her face became void of statement.
Anakin immediately sensed her power moving around him and in him.
He closed his eyes as well
and tried to remain in a state of passivity. He was able to hear
Selia's voice in his mind as clearly as if
she were speaking audibly. She began interrogating him in a flurry
of rapid questions that Anakin's
conscious mind could not grasp but found his subconscious mind
responding readily on its own. His
pain began to dissipate and his dizziness cleared. In its place
came a warm sense of well-being. Selia's
lifeforce flowed through him and strengthened him with rejuvenating
power. Anakin could also sense
her intense compassion and great respect for life. Her mercy
enveloped him like a material bandage.
She slowly released his hands and stepped back to observe him.
"You can open your eyes now.
That is, if you want to."
Anakin opened his eyes slowly and smiled. "Your command of the
Force is impressive to say the
least. I feel much better physically and much more in tune to
the Force myself than I have been these
past few days." His smile faded suddenly and his eyes darkened
somewhat. He looked across the
room at his master. "Why can't you just help him? Why do you
need his permission? You didn't need to
speak to my consciousness, you spoke to my subconsciousness.
Selia frowned and lowered her eyes. "I tried to speak with his
subconscious earlier. He is entirely
focused on keeping himself alive right now. His subconscious
does not respond to me."
Anakin sighed. "Well...can't you make him respond?"
Selia shook her head. "Remember my analogy? His subconscious is
the hand I need him to give
me before I can pull him up. Right now, he is still clinging
to the cliff face with both hands."
Anakin looked over at his master, watching silently as the rotator
began another revolution. The
monitoring equipment shifted and rearranged itself to conicide
with the mechanism's ever changing
position. Obi-Wan's body sagged against the numerous straps binding
him to the device as he was
once more turned face down. Anakin lowered his eyes and took
a deep breath.
*Master, can you hear me?* he pleaded silently. *Master, you must
let your physician help you.*
He paused, waiting. Nothing. *Obi-Wan, can you hear me at all?*
Anakin looked up at Selia.
She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Try not to be too discouraged.
He may be able to hear
you, but not able to respond to you." She turned and walked back
to the window ledge. She slid onto
it agiley and sat cross-legged in the corner leaning against
For a long while, the only sounds in the room came from the life
monitors and support systems.
Anakin watched his master and counted the revolutions he made
in the time that passed. Finally, he
glanced back at the jedi healer and asked, "Why is he being turned
constantly?" His voice was thick
with fatigue and emotion.
Selia's eyes were closed and she appeared to be meditating but
answered him readily. "It keeps
pressure off his wounds and improves circulation," she explained.
"I realize it looks distressing, but in
truth, he is more comfortable being in motion like that than
if he were lying flat and stationery."
Anakin frowned. "I hope you are right. To me, it looks damned
uncomfortable." He paused,
collecting his thoughts. "Master Selia, do you feel that Obi-Wan
is resisting your help? If so, why would
he do a thing like that?"
The healer opened her eyes and faced the apprentice. "He may believe
he is too far away for me
to reach him. He may be trying to protect me. Maybe he doesn't
want to pull me down with him."
Anakin sat forward, his gaze piercing. "Is there a danger of that
Selia nodded slowly, hesitantly. "Only a very powerful healer
should even attempt to bring
someone from the brink of death. Sometimes, a patient is too
deeply submerged inside themselves
when I reach them. It takes a great deal of strength and manipulation
of the Force to revive them." She
raised her hands and clasped them together. "Our minds are locked
together, like hands that are
clasped. A dying person pulls me towards death as hard as I pull
them towards life." She smiled
slightly. "But fear not, I haven't lost a tug o' war match yet,"
she added to ease the gravity of her
revelation. Then more seriously: "It's what I do, Anakin. It's
why I was assigned to your master."
Anakin shuddered involuntarily. "Your courage truly gives you
the heart of a Jedi." He looked at
her, awed. "You don't even know him and yet you are willing to
take a risk like that to save him."
"It's no different from what you Knights do. You constantly place
yourselves in harm's way for
beings you know even less about," the healer responded softly.
"I know him enough to care about him
and want to save him. And I care about those who hold him high
regard, to want to save him for them
Anakin offered her a grateful smile. "I'm very glad you are his
physician. I feel if anyone can help
him, you can."
Selia lowered her head humbly. "Thank you, Anakin. That's very
Anakin turned to gaze at his master. "He's a good master," Anakin
said, more to himself than
Selia. "He has certainly been there for me through thick and
thin. He puts up with me--that alone makes
him worthy of my veneration. I haven't exactly been a model apprentice
and I tend to argue with him a
great deal." He paused and sighed regretfully. "He's a disciple
of the rules and procedure. He follows
the code to the letter. I'm unyielding and rebellious by nature,
so you can imagine the clash of
personalities we suffer. Despite all that, I can't imagine being
anywhere else but by his side." A slow
smile lit Anakin's handsome features. "Now and then, on rare
but valued occasions, he acquaints me
with another side of himself. He has this dry, sarcastic sense
of humor and a real mischievious streak
that surfaces only with people he's very close to. He can be
a lot of fun at times. Mostly he is viewed
only as this wise, stoic master and that's unfortunate. He's
so much more than that." Anakin inhaled
deeply, folding his arms over his chest and bowing his head,
submerging himself in different memories.
Selia frowned. "I wish I could get to know him like that," she
said somewhat wistfully. She
peered over at Obi Wan and slipped off the window ledge. She
walked over to him and knelt down.
She drew the Force in around her and concentrated, centering
her thoughts deep in his mind.
*Obi-Wan? Please let me help you. Don't wage this battle on your
own. Please answer me.*
She waited, but there was still no response. She lowered her eyes
and disappointment clouded
her face. Anakin sighed heavily.
"Nothing?" he asked
She shook her head and standing up again, turned to face him.
"You need rest. You're very
Anakin shrugged. "Actually I feel much better than I did earlier."
He glanced over at Obi-Wan.
"Master, you really ought to give this healing thing a try. It's
done wonders for me." He turned his eyes
slowly back to Selia and frowned. "I'm fine, really. Don't worry
about me, keep your focus on him."
"Then let me stay focused on him," she chided gently. "I can't
if I'm continually distracted sensing
your fatigue. I'm attuned to suffering of all kinds and naturally
have the desire to remedy it. You need
sleep, Anakin. I don't want another stubborn patient. I've got
my hands full with your master over there.
Now go. There's a lounge across the hall."
Anakin looked over at the petite woman rebuking him and was slightly
taken aback. Her tone left
little room for argument and her statement dared further protests.
He sighed and reluctantly nodded.
Selia took ahold of his large hand and helped him to his feet.
Then she pointed at the door.
"I'm going," Anakin mumbled, then grinned. "I get that same look
from Obi-Wan when he means
business. I've learned not to cross him when he looks at me that
Selia's statement softened with her smile. "No small feat considering
you must tower over him."
Anakin looked back longingly at Obi-Wan. "Well for a long time
he 'towered' over me." He
turned slowly and headed for the door. "In a lot of ways, he
still does." With that, he left.
Selia went over to the wall and powered down the lights in the
room. She took a deep breath
and crossed the room to the injured jedi in her charge. She sat
gracefully on the floor beside the
rotator, folding her legs underneath her, as her long red cloak
pooled on the floor around her. She fixed
her eyes on the Jedi's face, observing the shadows the lights
from the window cast over him. His
statement was one of complete serenity, as if he were merely
dozing in the warmth of a summer sun
instead of fighting for his life in a hospital.
Tentatively, Selia reached out and touched his cheek. She smiled
slightly, gazing at him
admiringly. He wasn't overtly handsome in the classical sense,
but she found him quite attractive just the
*You must have broken some hearts along the way, haven't you?*
She traced her finger along his brow and lashes and wondered about
the color of his eyes. She
wondered too how he must look when he smiled and traced the curve
of his jaw and the dimple on his
chin. She found herself wishing he would look at her and smile.
It saddened her deeply to think he may
never be able to.
*You're breaking my heart right now. And I haven't even gotten
the chance to know you. I really
would like to get to know you better, Obi-Wan. Why won't you
talk to me? You have managed to
touch me inexplicably, yet you have no qualms of leaving me,
never giving me the opportunity to get to
She placed her palm against the center of his chest and could
feel his heart faintly beating. She
watched her hand move up and down with the rhythm of his breathing
and she sighed heavily.
*You are frightened, I can feel it. Try not to be. I'm here for
you. Please trust me. I know your
suffering is great. I can feel the pain inside you; the ravaging
your body has endured. Open your mind to
me. I can ease the pain. Let me fill you with the Force's power
to heal. I have done all I can for you
without this connection, but I fear it may not be enough. Even
now, the lifeforce within you dims.*
The rotating mechanism began another slow turn. Selia studied
the monitors, and bit her lip
worriedly. She wondered how much longer he could keep himself
alive. There had been a noticable
decline in his condition since he was first brought here. She
focused herself, concentrating the Force,
drawing strength from it for the inevitable battle that was to
come. She began slowly stroking his hair.
*I refuse to let you die without a fight, Jedi. One way or another,
I will connect with you.*
A tear suddenly spilled from the healer's eye. It surprised her
and she wiped it away quickly.
What was it about this man? Why did she feel so strongly about
him? She had had thousands of
patients before him and she cared about the well being of each
and every one of them, but with him
there was something more. Something gripping in its novelty.
Selia sighed heavily.
*Can you sense what I feel? Does it convince you how much I care?
Because I think I'm falling in
love with you....I am in love with you. And you won't even talk
Anakin was shaken awake by strong hands grasping his shoulders.
He pried his eyes open and
saw the Jedi Master Depa Billaba kneeling in front of the sofa
he had sprawled out on. She rose slowly
when she was satisfied he was awake.
Anakin swung his long legs over the side of the sofa and rubbed
"We had a feeling you would be here," the Jedi Master spoke at
Anakin grinned up at her. "A little Jedi humor, Master Billaba?"
She smiled faintly. "You were to remain in your quarters, Padawan
Skywalker," she continued.
"You have been through a great deal and injured as well. It was
not safe for you to venture out."
"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin replied without the slightest trace
of remorse. "I needed to be with
Depa Billaba straightened, folding her arms over her chest and
buried her hands in the voluminous
sleeves of her dark brown cloak.
"Considering the circumstances, there will be no reproach, but
when we could not find you we
became concerned. We care for you as well. You took it upon yourself
to go off, without a word. You
showed very little regard for us," she stated with subtle reproach,
despite what she had just assured
"I know," Anakin sighed. "I am sorry," he added sincerely. He
bowed his head in submission.
"Master Yoda sent me here. We have not received any word as to
how Obi-Wan is doing. So, I
gather there is little change in his overall condition?"
Anakin shook his head slowly. "If anything, he's getting worse."
Depa Billaba sighed heavily. She placed her hand on his shoulder.
"This is very unfortunate to say the least. It distresses us all
substantially." She paused and Anakin
felt her sadness. He placed his hand over hers and sent feelings
of reassurance to her through the
She smiled gratefully. "I will go see him," she announced.
Anakin stood up stiffly. "I'll come with you."
The room was very dark, but no one bothered with the lights.
Selia Beellegee had tucked herself back in the corner on the window
ledge. Her eyes were
closed and she appeared to be mediating again. She did not stir
when the two jedi entered.
Depa Billaba glanced at her and then at Anakin with a questioning
"His healer," Anakin explained.
The Jedi Master nodded, then turned her attention to Obi-Wan.
She took a deep breath and
crouched beside him.
"May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan," she whispered. She took
the Jedi's hand and squeezed
it lightly and tenderly stroked his face with her fingertips.
She turned her head to face Anakin, who
stood slightly behind her. "His strength is failing," she informed
quietly. "The lifeforce in him is barely
perceptible. It won't be long now."
Anakin felt his throat constrict painfully. His heart clenched
inside his chest and he whirled around
to face Selia.
"Do something! Anything!" he growled.
Selia slowly opened her eyes. "I am. I'm letting him die."
Her words struck him like a blow. He was so stunned he didn't
know what to say at first.
Suddenly he found his emotions speaking for him.
"You are giving up then? I though you had the heart of a Jedi,
but I can see I was wrong."
Depa Billaba rose slowly. She moved to stand by Anakin. "Anakin,
it may just be too late."
Selia took a deep steadying breath. "He has been too strong for
me to be able to reach him," she
went on to explain. "He has effectively blocked his mind from
me. But he is weakening. He'll need to
free his mind and center all his power on healing his body. He
hasn't done this yet, but he'll have to
soon. I might be able to get him to respond to me then."
Anakin's eyes lit with realization. "You're saying there's still
Selia nodded. "A slight one."
Anakin reached out and grasped the physician's wrist, hauling
her off the ledge and over to his
"Let me help you," Anakin exclaimed. "Let me enter his mind with
you. With our combined
power, he'll have no choice. It will decrease the risk for you
and it may reassure him enough to
cooperate. Together, we can bring him back."
Selia was already shaking her head.
"You don't understand what you are saying, Anakin. You are speaking
from your heart and not
your head. I will not let you place yourself in danger this way."
Anakin looked down on the healer with an icy statement. "I have
placed myself in danger for him
time and time again. He has done no less for me. You said it
yourself, what we do in the field is no
different from what you do in someone's mind. You have to let
me help you."
"Anakin," Depa Billaba began quietly. "Be reminded, you are addressing
a Jedi Master. You will
make no further demands of her."
Anakin shot her a brief irritated look and pointed at Obi-Wan.
"He's my master. The only master
Depa Billaba frowned. "He's certainly the only one who has any
kind of control over you, be it
tenuous at best," she reprimanded him sharply. Slowly she turned
to face Selia, her voice softening
considerably. "Let him, Master. If anyone can reach Obi-Wan,
Anakin can." She paused to scowl at
the unruly apprentice and took a deep breath. "Please, for all
our sakes," she added.
The three Jedi stood regarding each other, immersed in deep thought
and warring with the
emotional tension in the room.
Suddenly a faint, pain-wracked moan behind them shattered the
oppressive silence, causing them
to turn as one in the direction of the dying Jedi.
Selia calmly took Anakin's hand and led him slowly over to the
rotator. As soon as the
mechanism had turned Obi-Wan face up, she flipped two switches
on the base of the device and shut it
"It's time," she announced, the presence of the Force emminating
from her with more power than
Anakin had felt in her before. "He's giving up...letting go,"
she whispered, her eyes distant. "This is our
chance. Reach for him, Anakin. He has to respond, he's too weak
not to. Open his mind for me and I'll
take it from there."
Anakin dropped to his knees beside his master and seized his hand
in his, tears streaming from
his eyes. He closed them tightly and concentrated intensely,
amassing the Force with potent ability.
*Master? Master, damn and blast, enough of this! Answer me!* He
paused and waited a
moment before continuing. *You promised to make a Jedi out of
me and I'm still a long way from
anything resembling a Jedi. I'm holding you to that promise,
Master...Don't leave me now. I need
*Forgive me, Padawan. I cannot stay alive much longer. I'm exhausted.
I have nothing left.*
Anakin centered his own lifeforce on Obi-Wan, sending wave after
wave of his power to his
master to strengthen him.
*Center on me, Obi-Wan. Use my strength. Fill yourself with my
There was no reply, but Anakin suddenly felt Obi-Wan's hand tighten
around his own. He looked
down at it and then smiled knowingly at Selia. She stood beside
him and placed her hand on his
*Master, there is a healer here.*
*You must let her help you.*
*No. I fear for her.*
Anakin tightened his grip on Obi-Wan's hand.
*She is powerful and courageous. She wants to help you. Open yourself
to her healing. You
need to connect with her if you want to survive. She's the only
one who can save you now.*
*Yes, I am aware of this.*
The Force shifted inside the Jedi's mind. Anakin was suddenly
overwhelmed by a flood of
surfacing thoughts and images, emotions, and long faded memories
that made up the conscious mind of
his master. He also became aware of the severe physical pain
Obi-Wan was fighting and his slowly
failing life functions that made up his subconsciousness.
*Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'm Master Selia Beellegee.*
* I'm very pleased to meet you finally. I've heard a lot about
Selia paused, her heart was pounding with anticipation. She wondered
briefly if Obi-Wan could
sense just how thrilling it was for her to finally be able to
speak with him.
*Focus entirely on me, Obi-Wan. Just trust me and let yourself
go. The Force will sustain you
and then begin to heal you. It's frightening, I know, but it
is the only way at this point. I promise, I will
catch you. I won't let you fall.*
The Jedi breathed in a deep lungful of air and released it slowly.
*Catch me then.*
Suddenly all the monitors blinked off and an oppressive silence
filled the darkened room. Selia
plunged herself into Obi-Wan's subconscious, using all her strength
and command of the Force. She felt
her own mind begin to darken and struggled to focus her healing
powers more intensely. She could still
feel his presence and wrapped the Force around it to securely
tether it to her. She sensed Anakin's
presence as well, and fed off his lifeforce, drawing from his
amazing power to strengthen her connection
to the dying Jedi. She was grateful for Anakin's help. Obi-Wan
truly had nothing left to fight with. It
was entirely up to Selia and Anakin to keep him alive now until
he healed enough to be pulled from
The monitors suddenly lit up again just as fast as they had previously
Depa Billaba released a long pent up breath she hadn't realized
she was even holding. She
studied the gauges and was pleased to see they showed improvement.
Steadily, the monitors' reading
increased even more as minutes passed. She looked over at Obi-Wan
and saw that his color was
already improving and he was breathing much more regularly than
Concentrating deeply, Anakin vaguely heard Selia communicating
with Obi-Wan. He could
clearly feel the Force flowing through her and into the injured
Jedi who absorbed it readily. Anakin
could also feel him responding. He was healing and growing stronger
with each passing second. Anakin
continued to center his power on Selia, lending it to her to
use where she needed.
Anakin felt Obi-Wan squeeze his hand. He opened his eyes and looked
fondly at his master and
"Welcome back, Obi-Wan," he whispered, his heart racing with a
Depa Billaba stepped forward and looked down at Anakin. "He just
may make a Jedi out of you
yet," she told him and smiled.
Amidala motioned for her handmaidens to stay back as she continued
alone pass the center
nurse's station and to the room on the west side just three doors
past the elevators. She approached
the door with a sense of dread, not really knowing what to expect.
She certainly did not expect to hear
laughter and quickly rechecked the room number on the door before
She peeked inside. Anakin, Master Mace Windu, Depa Billaba, Plo
Koon, and Ki Adi Mundi
stood side by side around the perimeter, facing the center of
the room, blocking her view. Anakin
suddenly turned around.
"Ami!" he greeted and caught her up in her arms. He kissed her,
crushing her to him in a tight hug.
Amidala was too startled to properly kiss him back. She squirmed
in his arms to free herself so
she could gain a better assessment of the situation.
Anakin released her finally and ushered her past a wall of Jedi
that blocked her way.
"Master! Look who has come to see you," Anakin sang out.
Amidala stepped towards the center of the room and was delighted
to find Obi-Wan not only
alive, but sitting up and smiling at her. He stretched out his
hand towards her and she seized it, suddenly
bursting into tears of relief. Obi-Wan pulled her closer to him
and hugged her comfortingly.
"Your Highness, I'm flattered," he said, his voice still somewhat
shaky and weak, but music to her
ears all the same.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, you half scared me out of my wits!" she scolded.
"Now I see it was all for
"Oh he scared all of us quite well with his usual thorough proficiency,"
Master Mace Windu
Obi-Wan grinned at the off-handed compliment and inclined his
head in thanks.
"We know he's feeling stronger now because he been 'hitting' on
his healer all afternoon," Anakin
Obi-Wan shot his apprentice a threatening look then faced Amidala.
"I've done no such thing," he
assured her. "I've merely been trying to bribe her into releasing
me from this wretched place. I loathe
hospitals. And besides, I feel fine."
"You're a horrible liar, Obi-Wan Kenobi," said Depa Billaba. "You
are far from fine and you
were too, as Anakin put it, 'hitting' on Master Selia. You keep
offering to take her out to dinner. You
call that a bribe?"
Obi-Wan tried to look insulted. "Can you blame me? The food here
is atrocious," he complained.
His statement changed as his eyes rested on his healer, who was
leaning inconspicuously against the
window ledge. His gaze was beckoning. "It is the very least I
could do for her," he continued softly.
"She did save my life."
Selia gazed back at him with undisguised affection. She came forward
and stood possessively
Amidala could see the warmth in his eyes and the sincerity of
his smile. She raised her brow
curiously and smiled slightly, knowingly.
Selia addressed the visiting Jedi. "He should rest now," she said
with calm authority. "You may
come back this evening if you wish."
One by one, the Jedi said their farewells and filed dutifully
out of the room.
Obi-Wan faced Amidala and smiled. He leaned forward and kissed
her cheek. "It is nice to see
you again," he told her in all earnest. She squeezed his hand
and stood up.
"It's even better to see you."
Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin, then back to Amidala. "Take care
of him for me."
Amidala nodded. "I promise." She looked up at Anakin, her eyes
sparkling. She slipped her hand
in his and leaned into him.
Anakin gazed down at Obi-Wan, his statement conveying countless
Obi-Wan smiled at him and nodded understandingly.
Anakin bowed slightly. "Master."
"Padawan," Obi-Wan replied. "Go now. I'll see you tonight." Then
he looked at Amidala and
Amidala and Anakin exchanged smiles. They turned and walked slowly
out of the room still hand
in hand, their eyes never leaving each other.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Obi-Wan faced Selia.
"So, Master Selia," he began quietly. "Whenever it is you do decide
to let me out of here...would
you still want to have a dinner with me?"
Selia smiled indulgently and lowered her eyes. "There is such
a thing as a possible violation of the
doctor/patient relationship," she informed him, trying her best
to sound bureaucratic. "Besides, please
don't feel any obligation to me. You don't owe me anything."
Obi-Wan lowered his eyes. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to imply
I was asking you out of
obligation. I am asking you because I want to ensure that I will
see you again."
Selia swallowed hard and stared back at him, afraid to believe
the possible innuendo behind his
As if sensing her hesitation, Obi-Wan reached up and touched her
cheek with his fingertips. He
traced a pattern on her face from her brow to her eyelashes and
down along her jaw. He smiled with a
mischievious gleam in his bright blue eyes as recognition suddenly
dawned on her.
"Don't worry about violating any hospital rules," he continued.
"When I'm released from here, I
won't be your patient anymore and you won't be my physician.
I'll just be a man and you'll just be a
woman. Please say yes. I'd really like to get to know you better
Selia's eyes widened. "You heard me! You were aware of me, weren't
Obi-Wan nodded. "I heard everything. I sensed everything. You
had me quite intrigued."
Selia sighed exasperated. "Why didn't you acknowledge me then?
Why didn't you let me help
Obi-Wan took her hand and pulled her down until she was sitting
next to him on the side of the
bed. He gazed steadily at her and sighed heavily.
"Because I began to care for you."
Selia lowered her eyes and took a steadying breath. "Then...you
also must know how I feel about
Selia forced herself to look up at him.
"I don't understand it myself. Of course, I care for my patients.
But you really had a hold of my
heart. From the moment I saw you. Then, every little detail I
learned about you from Anakin just made
me fall deeper. I just had to experience you for myself."
"Do I still have a hold of your heart then?"
Selia smiled and blushed attractively. "Yes."
Obi-Wan smiled warmly. "Then let me experience you, Selia."
Her heart pounding wildly, she nodded finally. "Dinner?" she whispered,
as he brought her hand
slowly to his lips and kissed it. "That's the least I could do..."